Get the inside scoop on all things kids and parenting on Long Island.
BloggersJennifer Berger Valerie Kellogg Beth Whitehouse Leema Thomas Patrick Whittle
Kids misbehaving? New book tries to help
Most of us parents would be happy to change the way we talk to our kids if we thought saying something a different way would yield a better result.
Enter a new book called “Say This, Not That: A Foolproof Guide to Interpersonal Communication” by psychotherapist Carl Alasko (Tarcher/Penguin, $15.95) that aims to show us how to do just that.
The book isn’t a parenting tome; it deals with all kinds of interpersonal situations. But Part Three of the book focuses on parenting. For instance, Alasko gives parents a script on how to respond when a child bursts into attention-seeking tears or what to do when your tween walks in the door from school and starts immediately playing video games.
On that latter scene: Don’t say this: “I’ve told you a thousand times to put your stuff away before using the computer! Why are you so stubborn [lazy, difficult, stupid]?”
Instead, say this: “Justin, please follow the rules about putting your stuff away before doing anything else.”
Of course, after you’ve tried it Alasko’s way a few dozen times and get the response of “OK, I will, five minutes” (not that I’m talking from personal experience, OK, yes, I am), you may revert to your former script.
But it’s worth a try.